Desperate Love

she's off again

plunging head first

into the walls of a mans heart

repeatedly beating

down the doors

of despair

lonely cries emerged

embraced

in the arms of a stranger

this moment

this night

when the conscience goes quiet

insecurities hide

all is motionless

in the darkness lie

two hearts fluttering

racing against time

into the never-ending night
validating desperate love

clinging there

resonating hope
two passionate hearts
unlocking

Listening Gem

I told you,

once.

I have nothing to give,

but myself

I wanted to hope you were not listening
my words went unheard

lying in wait

a precious stone

it was forseen

one day a curious soul

should stumble across

this abode

gleaming there

a sparkling gem

hues of blue and green
hidden beneath the darkness

in life

bound to be picked up

twirled within the fingertips

of appreciation

You knew it would happen

You fortold the light

perhaps,

I was not listening

as our time

passed us by

unknowing

 love shared

unable to sustain

not listening.

when curiousity

rubs the soul clean

shining through the

pearlish light

as it naturally must be

You knew it would happen

an opal of oppurtunity

I just was not listening

perhaps you planted the seed

to lie in wait

patient

as our time passed us by

I told you once.

I wish you would have listened.

I wish I did not.

turned now to a ruby

in the heart

a diamond in the eye

of another

I cherish

what never was

never could be

sparkling

in the darkness

gleefully listening

Finding the Strength

can I find it behind the rock?

is it lurking inside the cabinet?
maybe across the sea,
on some pleasant retreat?

the courage, I seek
to stay strong in this moment
of weakness

avoid filling the void
as it is irreplaceable
seeking out what is not
manifesting desire
where otherwise is none

flooded eyes and foggy brain
an emotional turmoil bursting inside
don’t hide the anguish
let it be heard, let it be seen

this storm that has risen
doubt and anguish
ever confusing
pulling you this way and that
finding the strength to remember
there is reasoning, meaning
behind all else otherwise
deemed demeaning

loves gained, loves lost
hopes inspired, hopes deminishing
confidence rising, undermining overwhelming
titter tatter, the life scope goes
escape, if you must,
but what shadows must go?
which will follow, should your escape
be in vain?

in search of the sanity
of which you have never
really gained


Maybe I can find it
out there on some pleasant
retreat...?
See you in a couple of weeks!

Lady of the Pond

if i may

swine dive off the tip top

of the old pine tree

deep into the murky, cold

pond below

gliding along freely

in dark blue midnight cool air

water gliding through

nude limbs

becoming one

water and body

mind and soul

exasperated

floating in the center

gazing amongst the star lit sky

breasts open to the lightening

cool breeze, mist ensued

across damp vulnerability

exposed, hidden

as one

allow me to sink

deep into your quiet darkness

to spread wings

breaking the depths fo the waters edge

lady of the pond

fly

sorry

i'm sorry if i push you away

i'm sorry if i say the wrong things

perceived as being hurtful

i'm sorry if i can not reciprocate

your thoughtful words, actions

in a conventional way

i'm sorry if i have not let my

past love lay buried,

as your eager eyes long

to call me yours

i'm sorry if my old habits are hard to break

as independence and solitude

blanket my existence and compromise nonexistent

i'm sorry i am so stubborn and resistant

i'm sorry if i am not all that you had hoped

i could be for you, today

i'm sorry that i tell you to stop apologizing

for who you are and stand before you with

i'm sorry

as i require time to register and believe

what i feel is true,

untainted by your own emotions

i'm sorry if my cynicism burdens you

and i can not resonate your love

if you can be patient,

if you can give me time

i'm sorry will turn to

i love you

or you can just rip the band aid

from my wounded heart

and go

i'm sorry.

Old Bones

Crick Crack

old the bones go

deep

into sorrowful pity

life remains

long after all has ceased

terminally contented

in moments of

woe

abiding the day

with haunted memories

grey as the cobble stones

of the complicated, unyielding mind

worn the hands

of which long ago

weaved

golden strings

into a protective veil

unable to behold

forgiveness

the nest of aniomosity

humming its lullaby

Crick Crack

old the bones go

to this moment

in sorrow

an old senile woman

forgotten

Time

you were in my dreams

but then i awoke

you knew,

even there,

in my subconscious

our time would go too quickly

time of which we never had

stopped

in our togetherness

relinquishing

the power

subdued

in the name of love

at times mercy

it would never be

tick tock

my heart thumps

so quickly...

forever ends

Lone Angel

she sits alone

content

the world outside

consumes

energy

straight from her lifeless body

an angel of sorts

to touch the lives of others

briefly

moving on

without a tear to shed

just the fond memories

of the girl who once was

passing through

passing by

not one to stay

through all the times

fondness in their minds

that is what she preys

they only think good of her

as she walks away

today she sits alone

Loves replacement

I stand over the counter

munching on crackers and hummus

contemplating Loves existence, awaiting the call

from Loves replacement

nah, Love is not mine

Love claims its independence

and spats in the face of any

who requests too much attention

the world meant to cater

to Loves time clock

Loves watch Loves needs

all these years have taught me so

nay, Love is not mine

Love is on its own

as I wipe the crumbs into the sink

running hand in hand out the door

with Loves replacement.

Late

Like a dream

showing up to class naked

you run out the door

Late.

Disoriented and hungry

Scrambling

for composure

Hoping no one will notice

the pillow crease

running down your cheek

you breeze through the entryway

Greeted with

'We were worried about you'

'I'm sorry', you reply

Resuming the position

of catch up all day

and into the night

you can't help but wonder

if they are thinking

Man, must be nice to sleep late

Indulgence

Sometimes...

Sometimes I am

an extremist...

emotional

powerful

empowered

extravagant

indulgent

lavishing,

in the bliss of life

Sometimes...

Sometimes I am

an extremist...

over and over

Again.

Life Expectation

Everything as it should be

she has grown

athletic, intellectual, spiritual

right on course,

she excelled in her education

followed with love bound dreams

her father proudly walked her down the isle

as he handed her off

to her hearts' sweet

they danced through the night

into their future

building the foundation

of a fairytale lifetime

biological clock ticking

reproductive syndrome

they bare three angelic ones

pronounced titles filled

daughter, wife, lover, mother

she lives as expected

they get what they long for

as time runs out

she aches for silence

quiet halls

a moment, too short

to reflect self

without the needs and distractions

of the loved ones of which she

yearns to please

caged by her freedoms

remembering past times

of dreams yet to come

dreams seldom forgotten

yet perceived as just an imagery

out of proportion

as time slips by

she bends

dropping to her knees

lying kisses on the eyelids

of the seeds from her womb

she weeps

closing the door softly

behind her

she wishes them better

one final good night

Off Kilter

the sun rises from the south

sets in the north
rivers run upstream
back into the lakes and mountains
rain drifts upward
into a cloudless sky
evaporating
heat floods the existence
when night becomes day

the world becomes a place
where animals roam freely
undisturbed by mankind
flowers and trees no longer bloom
wilting back into themselves
imploding down into the earth
nothing is as it was

as everything seems off today

Just Tired

I am just

I am tired

weakness consuming

I want to love you

I want to give you my all

I open the doors

inviting you in

to take hold of the woman

I was

I am

I will be

for me, in return

to love you unconditionally

I do

I am just

I am tired

of opening my heart

exposed

vulnerable

invisible

I am just

I am tired

Autumn Rising

Kissing the nectars of succulent summer

Good-bye

Replaced with

Crisp, Cool Nights

sun beaming through branches bare

Autumn rising

Pumpkin delight

Pumpkin seeds

Pumpkin pie

Pumpkin quiche

Figs with sweet honey

Nuts galore

Collard Greens

Leeks and

Peas

Soup, let it shine!

Porcini

Butternut Squash

Roasted Tomato and Red Pepper

Red Plush Wine devine

Cranberries and Yams

Sweet Potatoes too!

Apples consuming

Fugi, Cortland, Gala, Red Delicious

Embracing the warmth

Lurking behind the comforting door

of warm Cinnamon Apple Pie baking

Cider in sight

Fall Colors Alight!