Sunday, July 7, 2019

after all.



image thru throughhimwithhim.com via nehali.blogspot.com





i do not need you

i want you


if i do not want you

i have no need for you

so be kind to a fragile heart

whose only passion left 

is that of spite


years it took to build ourselves up 

to make

us 

the care and attention

in weaving our dreams

together

creating

loving

cherishing...



Crushing.



self-destruction 

ensuing

in a long, lingering blink

our dreams

are behind us

i should be sad

i should try to hold on



i do not need you

i want you

if i do not want you

i have no need for you…


after all.




Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Secrets




i wish i knew what to say,
or rather,
how to say it…
i wish these long drawn-out
silences
were a little less one-sided

i wish it took less dramatic measures
to make a good-bye stick
to return things as they should have
always been

but, return,
could it ever?
be what we had before?
i wish i knew what that was…
was there ever a moment
when we were not an us?
it’s hard to recall

if either of us could peer
beyond the walls of forgiveness
we’d see the shattered
spirits
of our dying love unfold

fore when i find the words
we will finally know…
how deep the wounds of deceit
shall go

i wish we could have been more honest
especially with ourselves
fore if the words should never come
the truth shall still be known

regardless of the outcome,
i hope deep down you know…

i will always miss you
and what we had before





Monday, January 31, 2011

break me... again!



you’ve broken my heart
over and over again

i’ve let you

extending the fragments
of which remain in tact
to be shattered
ever more
by the persecutor
of my soul

i lay it out before you

come…
crush me
destroy me
make me fall apart
over and over again
i beg of you,
break my world apart!

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

your visit last night



you came to me
last eve
creeping through
the shadows of my dream
i felt your eyes
observing
my life unfolding
without you

and it was there
where your presence
was felt
that i came to know
i would always
have you
if only in my dreams.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

The Chosen One



it was not i
who chose life
it was life
whom chose me
oft times
considered mundane
yet precious the gift at hand
i unwrap it
carefully, precise
seemingly careless at times
unfolding the corners
placing together the pieces
realizing it not to be a puzzle
but a portrait
of the brightest colors
darkened shadows
a kaleidoscope of fragments
adjustable, amendable
ever changing the angle of which
i hold it
it is a gift
handed down to me
a gift
meant to share
my dutiful obligation
to respect it
with objectified care.



Thursday, January 13, 2011

Thawing



there is a chill that’s seeped
into my cells,
cold, still, numbing,
the days
immobile...
wondering how long,
it all must take
for passion and desire
once again to stake claim…
as rapidly as the freeze
seeped into my veins,
slowly, the coldness will lift
a vague memory
of another dreary winters day...
cultivating ambition
where otherwise, lie none
awaiting...
the freeze to thaw
and life...
to once again,
blossom.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Flip Side



on the flip side
it could always be worse
so I flip
and I flop
as a fish out of water
contented in knowing
it could always
be worse

Monday, December 27, 2010

Surgeon Generals Warning



i roll it up,
to smoke it,
the fragments
of our broken hearts,
collected over time
with ignited fire
i spark the tip
inhaling all of our
desires
within my lungs
we linger there
until i must
exhale,
fumes of unanswered promises
wafting out of longing lips
left in disrepair,
the stench
of heavenly-ever-after
dissipating in the air
puff after puff,
ashes blown, deception released
to the unforgiving breeze
it’s the memories best forgotten,
when i stub out our butt
to our final
cremation

Friday, December 24, 2010

The Rules



if you want to be heard,
then your gonna have to listen

if you want to be seen,
then you’ll have to become the observer

if you want to be loved,
then you’ll have to love (back)

if you want to be it,
you have to know it…
inside and out

if you want to shine,
then you’re gonna have to polish

if you want to succeed,
you’ll just have to learn
it aint always so easy

it takes patience, sacrifice,
diligence, tears and pain…

but if you really want to,
i believe you will achieve

anything….


Monday, December 20, 2010

Sunken




my heart sinks
as the sink fills
with 8 wine glasses
6 coffee mugs
2 knives

and I’m still…

sitting with cup in hand
wafting away the smoke
engulfed in unbecoming
emotions

without you
my sink fills
as my heart sinks

and I’m still…

sunken
without you.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

the storm within



thunder bolts from the sky
echoing the restlessness of my heart
as rain pummels down
concealing welcomed tears
i walk purposeless
engulfed by the angry skies
reverberating my pain
winds whipping through me
as the heat of my veins
perpetrate the storm
i walk
as the clouds
rains and winds dissipate
and all that remains
is little ol’ drenched me
immobile
to the silence
that follows



Saturday, November 13, 2010

Be the Change



if you move away
change jobs
careers
life-style
hair color
if you run from the city streets
to the country lit skies
and say good-bye
to convenience
falling directly into the lap of convention
if you let go and let be
allowing silence to sink in
to an otherwise loud and consuming mind
if you picture it imperfect
allowing expectations to drift away
perhaps, it is there,
you will find the unanswered questions

it’s worth a try…
anyway

Monday, November 8, 2010

Poser



I’ve learned best by being a poser,
yes, it is true…

I’ll admit it here and now
that all along
I’ve never had a clue

racing head-strong
I’ve become the perfect clone
an imposing actor of our time

I’ll tell you I can do it
that I am the best!
I’ll smile and nod
at every request

when asked the questions
I do not know,
I’ll lighten the mood with
Excellent question!
placing any doubt to rest

for I really don’t know anything
other than
perfecting the perfect scheme
of being the one who can do everything…

what a resourceful being!



Tuesday, November 2, 2010

tell me



you whisper,

tell me you love me,
even if you lie…

silence on my tongue
mind swirling with
words i long to muster

yet lying in your arms
my voice obsolete…

you respond to my silence,

then ask me…
the question…

searching your eyes, i do…

…do you love me?

Yes. i will always.

and i find myself bereft,

acknowledged with a caress…
until your soft eyes close,
sweet as an angel to rest

shortly thereafter,
i gather my things and leave…

wondering,
if words really do
mean anything?



Monday, November 1, 2010

Cannibals


a lingering feeling of want
and desire,
not once subsided
since we last parted

so close,
yet far away
a distance of which
space can not replace

although we try
each and every time
ho-humming along
to the beating of passions’
tongue
we become entwined
reveling the addiciton
of...
you devouring me
as i consume you