Monday, December 27, 2010

Surgeon Generals Warning



i roll it up,
to smoke it,
the fragments
of our broken hearts,
collected over time
with ignited fire
i spark the tip
inhaling all of our
desires
within my lungs
we linger there
until i must
exhale,
fumes of unanswered promises
wafting out of longing lips
left in disrepair,
the stench
of heavenly-ever-after
dissipating in the air
puff after puff,
ashes blown, deception released
to the unforgiving breeze
it’s the memories best forgotten,
when i stub out our butt
to our final
cremation

Friday, December 24, 2010

The Rules



if you want to be heard,
then your gonna have to listen

if you want to be seen,
then you’ll have to become the observer

if you want to be loved,
then you’ll have to love (back)

if you want to be it,
you have to know it…
inside and out

if you want to shine,
then you’re gonna have to polish

if you want to succeed,
you’ll just have to learn
it aint always so easy

it takes patience, sacrifice,
diligence, tears and pain…

but if you really want to,
i believe you will achieve

anything….


Monday, December 20, 2010

Sunken




my heart sinks
as the sink fills
with 8 wine glasses
6 coffee mugs
2 knives

and I’m still…

sitting with cup in hand
wafting away the smoke
engulfed in unbecoming
emotions

without you
my sink fills
as my heart sinks

and I’m still…

sunken
without you.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

the storm within



thunder bolts from the sky
echoing the restlessness of my heart
as rain pummels down
concealing welcomed tears
i walk purposeless
engulfed by the angry skies
reverberating my pain
winds whipping through me
as the heat of my veins
perpetrate the storm
i walk
as the clouds
rains and winds dissipate
and all that remains
is little ol’ drenched me
immobile
to the silence
that follows



Saturday, November 13, 2010

Be the Change



if you move away
change jobs
careers
life-style
hair color
if you run from the city streets
to the country lit skies
and say good-bye
to convenience
falling directly into the lap of convention
if you let go and let be
allowing silence to sink in
to an otherwise loud and consuming mind
if you picture it imperfect
allowing expectations to drift away
perhaps, it is there,
you will find the unanswered questions

it’s worth a try…
anyway

Monday, November 8, 2010

Poser



I’ve learned best by being a poser,
yes, it is true…

I’ll admit it here and now
that all along
I’ve never had a clue

racing head-strong
I’ve become the perfect clone
an imposing actor of our time

I’ll tell you I can do it
that I am the best!
I’ll smile and nod
at every request

when asked the questions
I do not know,
I’ll lighten the mood with
Excellent question!
placing any doubt to rest

for I really don’t know anything
other than
perfecting the perfect scheme
of being the one who can do everything…

what a resourceful being!



Tuesday, November 2, 2010

tell me



you whisper,

tell me you love me,
even if you lie…

silence on my tongue
mind swirling with
words i long to muster

yet lying in your arms
my voice obsolete…

you respond to my silence,

then ask me…
the question…

searching your eyes, i do…

…do you love me?

Yes. i will always.

and i find myself bereft,

acknowledged with a caress…
until your soft eyes close,
sweet as an angel to rest

shortly thereafter,
i gather my things and leave…

wondering,
if words really do
mean anything?



Monday, November 1, 2010

Cannibals


a lingering feeling of want
and desire,
not once subsided
since we last parted

so close,
yet far away
a distance of which
space can not replace

although we try
each and every time
ho-humming along
to the beating of passions’
tongue
we become entwined
reveling the addiciton
of...
you devouring me
as i consume you

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Days of Silence



counting the days…
one, two and so
achingly slow…
three and four
days of silence.

booming silence
as not one word be passed
among us
as if
we were both walking
deceased
numbly moving along
forgetting our natural instinct
to love,
communicate

knowing,
there is an internal battle
festering within us

lost in translation,
between the words we did not say
and the silence that followed

silence
five, six,
now seven days…

i’ll count ‘til infinity
to hear what you have to say.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

the devils queen



smoke encircles her body
rising from the ashes of sin
not one other man
could comprehend
the places she has been

striding in
whoop-whish
her skirt flails about
as she spins atop
the counter part
scotch infused breath
on exposed skin
she lingers a moment
allowing her presence
to sink in

languidly lusting
for the touch of each
mans eyes
her ache to be the
centerpiece
of the crowded
mangled bar
realized

once she is assured
of capturing
their attention
it is now that she pounces
and no one
will ever understand
what hit ‘em





Thursday, October 14, 2010

a seashell for you


You,
being the person who has everything

i never would have thought…
after Years of me conjuring the perfect gift…

you could not appreciate it
because,
naively,
you did not know…

about the little things,
in life

and the treasures
they behold

so glad,
so fortunate

I could share it with you

Monday, October 11, 2010

It's all about change


Today,
you will find me....


at

Friday, October 8, 2010

muse



the juices flow
rarely so ripe
immobilizing the ability
to continue
into mundane routines
of life,
recluse in these moments
that move too quickly,
an uninhibited soul
released
envisioning, creating
editing, revising
one into the other,
the fingers move
within the mind,
an ebbing massage
of the inner-voice
freely
exhaling

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Un-bloomed





fortunate,
yet imprisoned
in the early years frost,
buds yet still to bloom
frozen, alas
true potential
held within
never allotted
the opportunity to thrive
shriveled
unprimed
blustering from within
a will to survive,
a beautiful wonder
of which could
have been…

Monday, October 4, 2010

Dream... continued...


to dream
of new adventures
paths unconquered,
undiscovered
moving on without a good-bye
yet cheers of blessings and
see you sometime

through distance
the mile span spreads
love forever manifested
from the time
we spent together

yet moving on
is what I dream of
to tomorrows
new adventures
discovering the paths
of many more to pass

the question lingers,
always enticing
‘where do you come from?’
‘where will you go?’

it is my dream…
to never fully know.



Wednesday, September 29, 2010

A woman's blush



i wished upon forever
through the star-studded
gaze in your eyes

with a mirrored reflection of
hope lust entrust

arising into remembrance
the beauty lying within forgiveness
unbeknownst how much would be taken
between the fingers of our touch

grasping the breath
of which we both subside
this moment,
as much yours
as it is mine

tickles my girlish emotions
endearing the ever-lasting blush
staking claim
into womanhood

both
to be
loved & despised

Thursday, September 16, 2010

dreams do come true



like a girl,
on her first day of school,
just to show up and find…

school is full of barbies, play-house and dress-up
sweets galore,
of ever varying kind…

reverted back to text book smells
and sugar sweet lips
to tell
the tales
of fabricated stories

protected by a bubble
of which,
only the reality
of dreams come true
could burst…

into the surreal freedom
of dreaming continued...

Friday, September 10, 2010

table for one, please



there is something to be said
of the solitaire soul
something unique,
yet seemingly wild
and out of control
independence succumbed
to a table for one
the musical tinker-tink
of toasts and cheers
abound

achingly, patrons whisper
A beautiful girl, still of her prime
there’s time still to be found
by a handsome young man
to share their days
with promises and serenades

yet,
finishing her meal
walking out to busied streets
her shadow not far behind
reflection playfully darting
on window panes
she smiles,
knowing the secrets
often considered obsolete
although, solitaire
she’s never been lonely
delighted in spending time
 with herself
seemingly selfish
perhaps even odd
but that of which
many will never master





Friday, September 3, 2010

Naive Love



we loved
as if
love did not
matter

as if time
stood still
with us

as if
we would live
forever

as if
love
would
prevail

yet
we did not see
the future

did not predict
that the moment
would not last
forever

we loved
as if
love did not
matter

naively,
unknowingly…

It does.



Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Time



time moves
so quickly
and I wonder…

where does it go?
children growing,
seasons changing,
life.

moving rapidly
into the future
one moment passes into
the next
one minute, into an hour
an hour into a day
a day into a month
a month into
a year…

gone bye.

again and again
and through the seasons
through time traveling
past conceivable notion,
I still find it hard to step back
and watch time slipping past

to stand still
as life
moves quickly
beyond measure
comprehension,
no time
to look back
nor forward
it’s this moment
moving quickly
that my mind is rapid
fluttering as the hummingbird flurry
a ripple in the waves
losing ones reflection
lost in the turmoil
compounded by the immeasurable
timing
of time slipping away
through pursed lips dried,
attempting to sip water through
fine fingers
it slides…
away

left
hungering for a time
when life did not run
faster then my legs could move,
when memories
served more of a purpose than
a simple snap shot
to capture the moment
the course of time
bewildered,
daunted…

I’ll rise for air
at once
gasping
after this drought
of a swim
through time
languidly embracing the moments
of which can so easily
be forgotten

remember still,
the person I am
the person in control,
not that

of time

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Life is a Scavenger Hunt



Life
is about searching
moving about
looking for
specific items
be it a place
a time
a person
a feeling
an emotion
it’s the constant hunt
with an ending goal
of happiness
a life fulfilled,
a race to the finish line
picking up memorabilia
along the way
to create a shrine
of the scavenger hunt
of a life time
all of us
out there
searching
for the same contentedness
all of us
taking our own path
to make it
to the same places

in this race through life
we may lose ourselves
a time or two
but we all meet
at the finish line
to share the final prize
with you.





Thursday, August 12, 2010

Invincable Woman




I pretended nothing was wrong
knowing if I believed,
even though the marks
lay across me,
if I concealed it
none would be able to see

if I lay buried within myself
false pretenses
ringing true,
for sure the world
would not notice
the pain concealed
yet
shining through

heavily consumed
the eyes of burden
hidden secrets untold
no one will notice
so long as I believe
it is true

as everyone shies away,
with silence on their tongue
they can not see me,
or what I have become…

still
lie in front of them

a woman

hidden in the shadows
of which
society
does not speak of

creating an
invisible woman
for all the world
to turn the other cheek on

and the bruises
they continue,
the only source
to rely on,
it is with this burden
of which I will always run with

and forever be known,
as the invincible woman

Thursday, August 5, 2010

with tender loving pooh



Pooh pooh
it’s all been had before…
Pooh pooh
it’s been said
it’s been true
Pooh
on you
Pooh
on me
Pooh pooh platter
for all to be
nothing unique,
nothing unseen
yet, always the
Pooh pooh
i love.
from you to me
or
with love,
to you from me

Pooh pooh
it's what all fine things
are made of.



Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Dreaming of you


i dreamt of you last eve

miracles brushed us,
with the color of fall leaves
stroking, creating
harmonious beings
folded together
it was you embracing me
transpiring wishes
floating through air,
heavens’ god hushed
as loves’ tears
fell upon us

when i awoke,
into darkness…
i willed you to hear
silent whispers
to come home
my ever-lasting
dear


Thursday, July 29, 2010

Gypsy Woman




it’s not what you are running from
it’s where you are heading to,
the desire
the hope
you are one of a few,
needing to fulfill
inquisitive minds
exploring
the unknown
leaving the rest behind,
it’s blissful awareness of
everlasting anew,
a soul calls home
where all fresh dreams
go to brew
ambiguously,
it’s the untold story
that never would be
if not for the sacrifice
of two…
or three…

title inpired by Fireblossom

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Rising Above



I can't.

I won't.

will never.

give up.

refusing to be the victim.

rising above,
nonsensical verbiage
actions

saddened only by,
your sadistic eyes.


Monday, July 19, 2010

Loves Capabilities



they all love you…
my friends,
family,
they do!
they tell me so…
constantly
the charm, the wit,
the adorable ways of which
you love me.
all chivalrous and conforming.

they wish me to be more like you,
like them…
yet, each morning i wake,
and i am me.
none of the above
of which you all seek.

can i still be loved?
the unconventional me?
or must i sustain the constant
ridicule, judgment, passiveness?
just love me, is all i ask…
the madness that is me
i take the vow, to love in return,
as capable as me can be.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

What If?



what if this kiss
was our last?
what if good-bye
was forever?
the time we held each other,
only a memory
distance escaping us,
what if…
we were no longer?
would you remember me?
remember us?
what we could have been?
what if…
two words,
two souls,
lost, eternally
would you…?
remember me?
what we were?
what if,
good-bye was forever?
our last time,
our last

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Thank You Larry G!



a bit confused...
do I learn to walk
before I swim?
do I learn to swim
before I fly?

perhaps I should learn to live,
before I die...

Monday, July 5, 2010

paradise



take me away
to a land of forgiveness
peace and purity
glam and passion
take me beyond,
to a land far from here
no baggage required
heading for the horizons
into sunsets and sunrises
perfectly blended
with moonlit waters
calmly reflecting,
a surrender
to you
from me
i’ll find my way,
if you’ll take me



Thursday, July 1, 2010

selective memory



time slips…

fades away into the eternal distance
filled, yet forgotten
past transgressions and lessons
history repeats itself
over and over
laughing hysterically
for the rumpus delight
of the forsaken
love, let love, forget love
to love again
passionate placement
in the timeline of life
fading the memories
of long-ago forgotten
rising, to the bliss
of born-again forgiveness
again and again
forgotten
each day
time slips away…
memories suppressed
be reborn today.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

To Love Her


If you want her,
open your ears
in place of your heart

if you want to know her,
open your mind
discounting life's affections

if you long to keep her,
bring with you empathy
forgetting all frivolousness

only in this manner
will you fully know
what it is

to love her.

Monday, June 21, 2010

the truth



you can look,
but you can’t really tell
what’s truly going on inside

the mind
the walls
pristine the exterior
shining the light

what’s underneath
the shield
may never truly be reveled
yet you may ponder
and question

hoping to discover
the truths held within
the protective mind

distracted
by your own secrets
devised
your own agenda

to make sense of what is real
variable on whatever pieces
you may find

the truth remains skeptical
for it is all
of what you make of it

the truth,
is in your lying mind





Thursday, June 17, 2010

Silence



Silence.
so much louder than words,
yet how much breath has been wasted?
time slipping away
to speak, but not listen
to listen, but not hear
Silence.
i give you,
as there are no more words to say.

Monday, June 14, 2010

it's hard not loving you




it’s hard not loving you,
your smile,
your laughter
it’s hard not loving
the challenges you partake in
the hope you bring to others
the way you hold me,
tight
as if you were to let go
i would fall into eternal burden
it’s hard not loving you
the way that i would like to
it’s hard each time we part,
how your embrace stays with me
strengthening the release
of our bond
it’s hard not loving you
even harder still
to love myself,
without you.

Friday, June 11, 2010

Infidelity




sweat
blood
pumping through veins
knowingly rising
in dissolution
again and again
self-purgatory rains
pouring within
thump-thump-thump-thump
masochist of sorts
anxiety perused
returning to avail,
no pity for the
self-sacrificing soul
laid limply beneath defeat
exhausted, alone
in the midnight error
of bliss

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Eternity



there is a place both here and beyond
where it all comes together
the world and the universe
become one
eternally tied up,
set free
the words unbroken
escaped from
centuries of captivity
released the revenge
the forgiveness
be-lovingly the secrets
of existence
distance depleted
words ravelled
as the pen lay to rest
the soul ever more

Thursday, June 3, 2010

oh sweet chic


How can i say this?
my delicate chic…

where you were born to the stable henhouse
raised to peck, running around the stomping ground
spooned in the feathers of comfort at dusk
father there to cock-a-doodle the morn
familiar, the land of which you were born
one day you will be king
to raise the roost
it is your beautiful destiny

well some, such as i,
were born with wings to fly
born atop a functioning nest
to be fed from a mouth up high
raised vigilantly
to be set free amongst the wild
wide winged with a keen eye

it’s by chance we’ve met
that i should land here to rest
although seemingly intriguing and exotic,
a grand new fixture to adorn
when you beckon the sun
as a baritone cock
wings will spread
briskly flying
into the morn

How can i say this?
sweet little chic
although the same species,
some birds are meant to fly




Friday, May 28, 2010

maybe tomorrow


i don’t wanna.
Nope.
sure don’t.
don’t wanna do laundry
grocery shop
talk to you
read
watch tv or movies
Nope.
i don’t wanna.
go to work
take a shower
get dressed
be social
or smile
pretending to care
Nope.
sure don’t.
don’t wanna
do dishes
clean the bathroom
check my e-mail
Nope.
not gonna.

and you can’t make me

Sunday, May 9, 2010

The Daughter



it is mid-day,
summer heated spring beauty
she walks, aimlessly
devoid of emotion
no stranger to strangers passing by
warm breeze flutters her cotton dress,
dancing with wisps of golden hair,
stranded from the long braid lane softly down her back
resting in lushness of green grasses,
shining raze of sun, warm her milky skin
wide, blue eyes gaze up to a reflecting clear blue empty sky
parched mouth,
she languidly bites into a sumptuous red tomato,
eaten as an apple, the juices slither down her plush lips
gliding the crease of her elongated neck
kissing the ground with nutrients
as bended knee, a glistening pearl of sweat
rolls down the curve of her calf,
she feeds the earth with her existence
as the skies,
listen to her silence
seeping into the ground of which she invades,
comforting strength and growth
solitude and awareness,
she is her Mother’s daughter
a minuscule piece,
of an existence much grander

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

One Word




Love.

strength resides there,
embodied the presence of meaning,
demands foreseen
whispering devotion
once spoken, it lingers
as a haunted ghost
expectations forthcoming…

Sorry.

forgiven or not
inevitable the mistakes we endure
choices and decisions sorrowfully playing
keystrokes of emotion,
yet bound by self gratification
a minuscule moment in time
that can…

Hurt.

deep inside
unjustly wronged
pain ensued, heartfelt despair
alone, bewildered
a breaking heart
forsakenly demised to…

Hate.

so strong
immeasurable the weight of which bears down
animosity, angst
burdened there the forsaken,
unrelenting despise and disgust
scared, this could be everlasting…

Hope.

Love. will resurface
Sorry. if forgiveness can not find its way
Pain. residing in what once was a safe place
Hate. seething its way into overflowing veins
Hope. that tomorrow will be better

what is one little word, anyway?

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Runaway



It is not the moments of which have been lived,
but the moments that have been taken
It is not the love you so delicately embrace,
but the love that did not stay
It is not the memories cherished,
but the memories that never happened
It is not the truths you innocently told,
but the secrets you did not say
It is not the love you so freely give,
but the love you have not captured
It is not the lives of which you have touched,
but the lives standing alone each day
It is not the warmth of a sheltering home,
but the cold abandoned houses unadorned
It is not the triumphs so bravely taken,
but the times half-heartedly portrayed
It is not the choices easily made,
but the ones that are most difficult
It is not the decisions of yesterday,
but the actions of today
It is not the child smiling up at you,
but the one that went astray.







Thursday, March 25, 2010

love can hurt



does it hurt me more knowing,
knowing that you just want me to be happy?
or
the fact that you are willing to let me go?

does it hurt me more moving forward,
envisioning how i was always happiest with you?
or
that, perhaps, you truly do care and i have deceived you?

does it hurt me more looking back,
remembering those kisses?
or
the ones we give to another?

does it hurt me more now,
that i wish i could be with you?
or
 realizing, i will break his heart too?


Monday, March 22, 2010

Finding Home


somber day has come
reaching the height of potential
looking out to the vast spans
of an hour glass, run dry
seconds, minutes, hours and days
dissipated, sucked away
mounting the last heap of hope
looking down upon the mountain’s scope
knowing
the only way down…
a leap
into the stomach of fate,
limits spent
boundaries surpassed
humbled, you find your way…
Home.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Lost Love


a lost love

is nothing but, a then love
a once before
a had been
always will be
kind of love

a lost love,
never dies
or needs
always there
in times of chance
breathing with you continuously

a lost love,
never leaves
seasons the years
passing beyond means
yet there is that constant
Love

shared in a lost love,
continually
spoken of which
uninformed
other than
the actuality

Friday, March 12, 2010

At War


mutilated minds
corrupt,
devoid of emotion,
social-retard-ism
captivated today
seen on the wide-screen
of which the world enraptured
compounded and bound
to the atrocities of society
victim to thyself,
when media casts spite in the
glare of doubt
to the existence of good vs. evil
conspiracy derived,
society hidden inside
not of warmth and glee
but secluded, deep
to the satire of belief
no more the existence of mankind,
depleted the visions of hope
of which our land derived
falling privy to demands
of evil
when only one voice, is spoken
one voice, be heard
the world withdraws within
mankind, imploded.

wrote this a while ago...found it fitting to the....situation...


walk with me






walk with me a fraction,
a fraction of time here today
sun anew, skies sparkling blue
a stroll i must take
come along, hear my woes
a little serenade
listen to the melody
of pounding heartbreak,
eyes of deep sea blue
quiet they are not,
tears fall
glistening with wetness new
sorrowful heartstrings
pinker pink in tune
while fleshy roses
bloom
it’s here, this day
where the spring baby lay
that i tell my tale to you
the lonesome song
of yester-year
when i gave my heart away,
for you, my dear,
i wish it was
but nay, i dare say not.
come with me
walk a bit,
Listen-
melancholy souls
of weeping trees sway
it’s there,
whispering secrets,
the ones i could not say.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

come back



both lost
unknowingly
both searching for the way,
persistent and struggling
to fill the hole of lost opportunities
busy, misguided, struggling
with irreparable damages
would it be possible,
we both reach out simultaneously
and find the other there
as we languidly seek refuge
falling back into the comfortable pretense
of our existence

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

The Widow



wind cracking the window pane,
alone inside, the widower
staring back, her reflection
darkened the night outside her window
howling gusts bring forth a shiver
a single light flickers,
that of her own
blazed, enlightened
day and night
she is frightened
the rage of which she rid of
dwindled down,
the embers exist
burning still the pain
what once there was,
still there to scold her
abandoned, abused
hands blood stained…

his spirit taunts her

Monday, March 1, 2010

A Letter


Dear Pride,

What a stubborn bitch You are!
time and again, You always win
times of need, shelter, protection,
Plain old asking for help,
You always step in
Controlling the situation
a masochist of sorts, You are
I wish, today, I could say I love you,
even appreciate you just a little,
But there You are
beaming with gratification,
when, once again, You have taken over
well, I, the being of my whole
am left, wondering….
What now? What now?


Bemused,
me.