Friday, October 30, 2009


i'm sorry if i push you away
i'm sorry if i say the wrong things
perceived as being hurtful
i'm sorry if i can not reciprocate
your thoughtful words, actions
in a conventional way
i'm sorry if i have not let my
past love lay buried,
as your eager eyes long
to call me yours
i'm sorry if my old habits are hard to break
as independence and solitude
blanket my existence and compromise nonexistent
i'm sorry i am so stubborn and resistant
i'm sorry if i am not all that you had hoped
i could be for you, today
i'm sorry that i tell you to stop apologizing
for who you are and stand before you with
i'm sorry
as i require time to register and believe
what i feel is true,
untainted by your own emotions
i'm sorry if my cynicism burdens you
and i can not resonate your love
if you can be patient,
if you can give me time
i'm sorry will turn to
i love you
or you can just rip the band aid
from my wounded heart
and go
i'm sorry.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Old Bones

Crick Crack
old the bones go
into sorrowful pity
life remains
long after all has ceased
terminally contented
in moments of
abiding the day
with haunted memories
grey as the cobble stones
of the complicated, unyielding mind
worn the hands
of which long ago
golden strings
into a protective veil
unable to behold
the nest of aniomosity
humming its lullaby
Crick Crack
old the bones go
to this moment
in sorrow
an old senile woman

Friday, October 16, 2009


you were in my dreams
but then i awoke

you knew,
even there,
in my subconscious
our time would go too quickly
time of which we never had
in our togetherness
the power
in the name of love
at times mercy
it would never be
tick tock
my heart thumps

so quickly...
forever ends

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Lone Angel

she sits alone
the world outside
straight from her lifeless body
an angel of sorts
to touch the lives of others
moving on
without a tear to shed
just the fond memories
of the girl who once was

passing through
passing by
not one to stay
through all the times
fondness in their minds
that is what she preys
they only think good of her
as she walks away

today she sits alone

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Loves replacement

I stand over the counter
munching on crackers and hummus
contemplating Loves existence, awaiting the call
from Loves replacement

nah, Love is not mine
Love claims its independence
and spats in the face of any
who requests too much attention

the world meant to cater
to Loves time clock
Loves watch Loves needs
all these years have taught me so

nay, Love is not mine
Love is on its own
as I wipe the crumbs into the sink
running hand in hand out the door

with Loves replacement.


Like a dream
showing up to class naked
you run out the door
Disoriented and hungry
for composure
Hoping no one will notice
the pillow crease
running down your cheek
you breeze through the entryway
Greeted with
'We were worried about you'
'I'm sorry', you reply
Resuming the position
of catch up all day
and into the night
you can't help but wonder
if they are thinking
Man, must be nice to sleep late

Monday, October 5, 2009


Sometimes I am
an extremist...
in the bliss of life
Sometimes I am
an extremist...
over and over

Friday, October 2, 2009

Life Expectation

Everything as it should be
she has grown
athletic, intellectual, spiritual
right on course,
she excelled in her education
followed with love bound dreams
her father proudly walked her down the isle
as he handed her off
to her hearts' sweet
they danced through the night
into their future
building the foundation
of a fairytale lifetime
biological clock ticking
reproductive syndrome
they bare three angelic ones
pronounced titles filled
daughter, wife, lover, mother

she lives as expected
they get what they long for
as time runs out
she aches for silence
quiet halls
a moment, too short
to reflect self
without the needs and distractions
of the loved ones of which she
yearns to please
caged by her freedoms
remembering past times
of dreams yet to come
dreams seldom forgotten
yet perceived as just an imagery
out of proportion
as time slips by

she bends
dropping to her knees
lying kisses on the eyelids
of the seeds from her womb
she weeps
closing the door softly
behind her
she wishes them better
one final good night