Saturday, May 30, 2009


They walk hand in hand
As if being with each other
Is not enough
They reveal their
Their togetherness
For the world to see
In the embrace
Of fingers entwined
Shoulder to shoulder
In sync
Strolling down the street
Gazing up at tall buildings
Flowers and trees
Stopping to ponder the window shop
As one
Smiling with glee
She places her head on his shoulder
He wraps his arm around her
Gently drawing her closer
I observe from afar
The love of two figures
Simplistic gestures
For all to see
For me to witness
This intimate moment
Is that how love is supposed to be?

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Meet You in My Dreams

I sleep
But would not know it
Minds activity
reality into a new format
You ravish the insights
of my subconscious

Meeting me there
in a dreamy haze
You smile
Blowing kisses into
my golden hair
Soft petals in the breeze
brushing against our cheeks
Whirlwind of delight
sweeping us off our feet
We drift on silver rimmed clouds
through enchanted kingdoms
Embracing each other
for the dance
of our hearts flutter
we become one
Man and Woman

Soundly sleeping,
I reach for your hand

Wednesday, May 20, 2009


Strong, independent woman
She walks with herself
on the tightrope of life
Cautious of
the conformity within
Etching her way
to create her own
Stubbornly consoled
in the ease of a solitary being
She vows to take the struggles alone
Frustrations jump to greet her
staring her down
facing these new challenges
She is told she needs someone with her
Fear awakens within her soul
Too tenacious to ask
for the help of another
Her biggest fault
To the untrained eye
Her pride
Substance of life
holding no threat to the mind’s
The biggest battle
coming from within
It will meet her in the end
as the greatest challenge
To succeed
Her pride must never win

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Love's Battle

She seeks for love
He seeks to retain it
She searches for more
He feels secure with what is
She is unfulfilled
He is content in their ways
She doubts her decision, to be with him
He is confident they are meant to be
She sees the truth for what it is
He is blind to her unsettlement
She speaks
He does not hear
She opens her heart
He holds it all in
She reaches for a man
He withdraws within

Friday, May 15, 2009

Take Me Back In Time

A product of your surroundings
My mind flutters to a time of long ago…

Swimming in rivers, lakes and the ocean
Jumping right in,
No thoughts of what may be lurking
Slashing our way through fields of long weeds
Chasing butterflies, gathering lady bugs
Planting apple seeds,
Waiting to see if an apple tree would grow
Never eat the watermelon seed,
It will grow in your belly
Mouth stained red, at the top of the cherry tree,
Looking up to clouds shaped in animal figures
Reaching out for another plump delight
A time long ago
Writing on chalkboards,
Teaching my dolls arithmetic and grammar
Folding letters just so,
Passing to a friend
Check yes or no
Marco Polo at the pool
Belly flop off the high dive
Hide and seek in the fields, long after dark
Watching the clock, with heavy lids,
Anticipation of Santa’s arrival
The bright teal bike with banana seat
“Flower power” embedded on its side
Speeding down the hill, Look! No hands!
Cartoons on Saturday
Roller skating, round and round, how fast can you go?
Camping in the backyard
Scary stories and Laughy Taffys
Dress up in my mothers clothes,
Oh how I can’t wait to be grown!

I remember a time of long ago treasures
Childhood memories of innocence pure
I hold those memories here in this moment,
As I long for it to be my surroundings.

Thursday, May 14, 2009


I run in a circle,
Waiting to find my fork
round and round I go
Making myself dizzy

Sleep well
For it’s the only rest you get
To dream of the life ahead
Awakened by sharp noises
The cycle begins

A day in the conscience
Of loud silence
Screaming, unheard
Whispering, unanswered
Seeking and searching
Seemingly over-looked
All absurd
Where does victory find you?

Tuesday, May 12, 2009


Inability to move
Thoughts of activity
Unattainable dreams
One foot
In front of the other
Into numbness
Than there
Stranger on the street
For a moment

Sunday, May 10, 2009

You to Me

She knows me more
Than I myself
Before my memory
Could serve
There to protect
Guiding my small hand
To hers
She lifted me to seek
No limitations
Exploring life’s potential
Rising to find strength
Of independence

Pushing her away
Disregarding her potentials
Judge not the past
As it has created the future
She resides as the sounding board
Of my heart
Wholly supportive
In each new feat
She holds the secrets
Of which I keep
Replace, no one can

For she is my beloved mother

Thursday, May 7, 2009


I sit at the DMV
Waiting, for long hours
So many things I could be doing...
I wait my turn, trying to be patient
A woman replaces the last, next to me
Her elbow touches mine
As she invades my space
Compacted into my little square
I hold my breath, trying to become smaller
Don’t freak out, be calm, I tell myself
Her arm can touch mine
Cloth against cloth
Any moment it will be over
Her leg is against mine
It is okay
Do not go crazy!
Let it be
The room becomes smaller
Children screaming
I know the feeling
I despise the DMV

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Moving Forward

You are not what I asked for
When I said I dreamt of love
You came to me
Consuming my loneliness
A temporary fixture for the lone

Drinking in the attention
Drunk from the lust
Conjuring a promise of fulfillment
Deceived by my own mind
I pictured a fairytale ending

Forgetting to look out for myself
When I handed you my heart
Trusting you to handle with care
Yet you hold it captive with contempt
As I sit in despair

What are you to me? I ask myself
Can I not take the upper hand?
When did love become so competitive?
Of who will administrate this desire?
Give it back! I say, in the name of tug-o-war

It is mine, my love to give
You took it for granted
No insight as to its value
Depreciated for life
As you spoiled its potential, give it back!

Scarred I will walk forward
As you hold my heart
An empty shell
To fill the void of space
In front of me
thoughts go out to you, dear Paula, you are not alone.


This story is for you…my friend

There once was a girl, this girl was confused and lost, half the time she didn’t even know who she was, where she belonged, whom she could trust.

One night, around midnight, she decided to walk, wherever she ended up would be fine.
The darkness was frigid, the snow deep, so she bundled up for the winter's night.
She walked aimlessly, ending at a river, she was alone.
She laid down right there in the snow, not as a child creating snow angels, but as a young woman, tired.
She looked up at the sky and saw nothing but leafless branches and an empty grey sky.

She closed her eyes to think, like birds scurrying to build a nest, her thoughts came and went.
She opened her eyes to the grey sky and saw a single, bright, sparkling star shining down upon her.
She made a wish for happiness and love and for a soul filled with peace and harmony.

She blew her star a kiss and closed her eyes once more.
She wondered if she could disappear, be absorbed by that star. No worries, no pain.

But when she opened her eyes, she noticed many more stars…hers was not alone.
As she searched the skies distance she noticed another and another and another….
She saw millions of others’ wishes, many all the same, many not.

Each Star sparkling, shining brighter with each glimmer, not one out-shining the other as they collided to create a cohesive diamond sky.
Soon the clouds moved in shielding the treasure.

She stood, and thought of a friend

Wondering which star was theirs?
She thought of how much that friend used to mean to her, how much that friend still meant.
She thought of another friend and another, just as the stars appeared at once, her friends gathered in her mind.

Looking up, the stars were gone.
She moved on, contemplating all the people who have touched her life,

how many lives she had touched.

How many more would she meet?

A collection of souls searching...

Not looking back until she was safely home.

She stood on the porch's edge, looking up to the skies.
there they were to say goodnight, all the stars of wishes to come.
She smiled up at them as she quietly walked into the house,

making her way up the stairs.

In her room she curled-up in soft blankets, closed her eyes, wrapped in her contentedness.
She still had pain and she still had sorrow, but she knew that she would pull through.
She knew, because she was a believer.
That all dreams do come true.

As she faded away to sleep, she found herself blessed in her home, on her bed, under her blankets, thinking her thoughts, tonight her wish came true

she had a story to tell a friend…present, past and future...

Remember, have faith in your star even when concealed by the sea of others, forgotten, or unseen; may all your wishes come true, dear friend, and never stop believing.

Monday, May 4, 2009


Well he is there experiencing that with her,
I am here and experience this…
He says they are not together,
But I am the one kept a secret
She is the one by his side,
Accepting his accomplishments
When did I become so naïve?
When did I become so desperate?

How do I stop it?
After so long?
When demands are not met
When …..
He hurts me, without knowing
HOW have I become so naïve?

A single tear falls tonight
Just one
But there are more to come
As I feel them in my chest
My throat
My heart

Distractions of life are only good for
So long

He is there, she is with him
I am alone
What is the question?

Silly Woman Moment

So, tonight I had a funny experience and it made me think of my family, and how they would say "Yip, that's her" I thought I would share.

We had a Spring Dinner for some college kids tonight, not any college kids, but deaf college kids. I have been planning the event with Scott (one of the kids) for some time now, needless to say, I preferred the e-mail communications, but he insisted on coming in multiple times with multiple people to "discuss" the event.

Well, tonight was the big night! They were adorable! All of them with a "Punk, black-tie" look going on. It was amazing to watch, it felt like a silent film, as the music was playing and all 47 of them going to the bar, lounge, socializing in the Main Dining Room...the silence was so nice. :)

Anyway, Scott came to me early in the evening and informed me of one of the boys birthdays, I asked him to let me know who he was once everyone was seated. By the time they were almost finished with the entrees, I went to him and leaned down,

WHISPERING, I said, "Who is having the birthday?" He looked at me confused...??? What??? I mouth very slowly, again WHISPERING, "Birthday, who?"And he pointed to the boy sitting next to him...Way to go Me! Nice surprise for the Bday boy! Dumbass.

On that note, could you imagine living in a world of silence? (oh, how I would not have to listen to all the sirens outside my window, or the moaning and groaning of the staff....) But so many other things, would be so complicated.

For instance, tonight, lets say you wanted to talk to your girlfriend about the guy that you like sitting across the room from you....nope...he would "hear" every single thing you said....ugh....or the girl in the bad dress...nope....

Imagine if the whole world were silent and all public conversation was understood as long as you were in eye sight of each other? Wow...all of the nonsense we would eliminate....Anyways, it was a good night, and I can't help but laugh at myself....I mean, who whispers to deaf people, anyway????I guess I do.

Saturday, May 2, 2009


Deaths black darkness
calls me in
He knows and remembers
my every sin
His deep, harsh voice
like hallow winds
beckons my name
just to begin
soon He is thrashing
at my chest
rips out my soul
right from my breast
leaving me hollow
in a puddle of blood
soon I will be dead
because of the flood
powerlessly pushed farther
all truths of the lying tongue
of a wonderful, lighted greeting
deceiving helping hands
bound and depleting
Death tares at my flesh
mutilating my visions
I wait for Death to finish
but, alas, He does not rest.